These are the times that try (wo)men’s souls

Thomas Paine had it all wrong.

For those of your schmoes out there reading The Express, try this (old) article from The Wall Street Journal (I can’t *technically* read, so really, I could be posting something in Wingdings for all you know):

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB118247444843644288.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

In short, naming your baby now equals branding. Also in sum, this should make you proud to be an American. At least you know you're free.

For the record, I am naming my children Summer Soldier and Sunshine Patriot. I will take them on play dates with thier friends, Snapple Lasagne and Coffee Kool-Aid, before stabbing myself repeatedly in the eye.

Comments

Jackie said…
Oh good, play dates, because I'll be busy taking Diet Snapple to the gym. She's such a friggin cow, eh?
February 6, 2008 at 2:50 PM
Jim said…
I just tried to read the actual WSJ article, but it's pretty lengthy and besides, it's hard to read anything when you're blinded by tears and vomit, which were my two initial reactions.

This just highlights a point I have been making every day for at least the last decade: People are so goddamned stupid.
February 6, 2008 at 3:03 PM
SDunham said…
I totally would name my kid Flynn Stone. Otherwise, if he was in public without me, people might not realize his genetic predisposition to stupid.
February 15, 2008 at 12:30 PM
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