Mary’s Ann Coulter Moment

I am currently reading a study of a program whose participants show a “reduced rate of hitting children with objects…” There are several burning questions in my mind, the least of which is: what exactly constitutes an object? Are we talking wooden spoon or car door? The object of choice notwithstanding, the sad fact is that lots of people smack their children. I’d just like to know when humanity got to the point where soooo many of us are smacking our kids around that the only logical remedy is to have our government shell out millions of dollars to figure out why people smack their kids around and how do we make them stop.

(Here it comes. Brace yourself).

(Are you braced?)

Here are the just-published results of the Steinberg Study on Beating Kids. My sources are common sense and decency: Don’t beat your goddamned kid. You beat your kid, you are a bad parent. Full stop. It’s not the TV’s fault. It’s not your parents fault for whacking you. It’s your fault and you should know better.

Why don’t we just “know better” anymore? You beat your kid? It’s not your fault. You are one of those unhappy parents whose child did not come with a manual. You don’t know any better. You can’t afford your house? Don’t worry. It’s on all of us and our progeny. You didn’t know any better. You’re sick because you spent your whole life pouring nutritional garbage down your gullet and not moving your fat ass? It’s OK. We’ll pick up the tab. You didn’t know any better. You scream obscenities on the Metro, throw your trash on the ground like an ape, yammer loudly into your cell phone, not give up your goddamned seat until ASKED by a blind man or pregnant lady? You just don’t know any better. It’s not your fault. It’s just everyone else’s problem.

When did it become OK to settle for nonsense ALL THE TIME? Why doesn’t anyone stop and say, Um, this is bollocks. All of it. We need to step it up, NOW. That is to say, we can all try a little harder, call BS a lot more and just THINK more, period. Thinking (and courteous behavior) shouldn't be rewarded. It should be expected. There's no legislating it. There's no efficient way to fund it. You just do it.

And clearly, most of us aren't.

I am going to go ahead and keep expecting it, in the off chance that a "no-more-bollocks" revolution will occur. This will never happen, of course, but it will ensure that I will continue to become more ragey and alienated by the doings of my fellow human beings.

At least we can count on that.