"Oh Stewardess. I speak jive."

This travesty brought to you courtesy of George Washington University's Master of Education program and Richard and Jo Ann Vacca (see left-no suprise here) in their masterpiece Content Area Reading: Literacy and Learning Across the Curriculum (that is to say, I am not making this shit up):

“Suppose a high school teacher overheard two friends, Lily and Sugar, talking in the school cafeteria during lunch:

Sugar: How was your weekend?

Lily: I had a money time! The bomb and me put on our finest bling bling and went partying Saturday night. Let me tell you, Suge, he’s no chickenhead. He’s a real fly.

Sugar: No kidding. I bet you two looked really cizool.

Lily: We had a crunk time until we ran into Jasmine and her do boy.

Sugar: What happened?

Lily: Well one thing led to another. Jasmine started hissing and her do boy stabbed the bomb. So we decided to jet and click up with some classier folks.

Lily and Sugar are using language and slang expressions that have made their way from rap music and the hip-hop cultural scene into the vernacular of today’s youth. About what are the two friends talking? Who is the bomb? What does it mean to be a chickenhead? A do boy? What does it mean to have a money time? A crunk time? To stab? To jet? To click up? Suppose you were the teacher in the cafeteria and were unfamiliar with the language the friends were using. (Mary's favorite part) Did someone get stabbed in the literal sense of the word as it is used in mainstream culture?”

If you're not simultanrously outraged and laughing, check your pulse. Also, expect No Textbook Left Behind to come along shortly.