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Showing posts with the label hating

Mary vs. the Economy

Mary: Generally eschews numbers to include basic math. Economy: Uses numbers to the point of confusion. Point: Mary, for keeping it simple. Economy: Is the focus of the presidential election. Mary: Is still pissed The Office was cancelled because of VP debate. Point: Mary, for choosing sense of humor over sense of doom. Economy: Gets $700 billion dollars to bail it out of trouble. Mary: Deals with consequences of her actions. Point: Mary, for character. Mary: Diligently saves in 401k plan. Economy: Eats 401k savings for breakfast. Point: Economy, for being gangsta. Mary: Can read or write Economy: Eschews those who can read, write, and/or afford their own homes. Point: Economy. See above. Mary: Is sick of hearing about the economy. Economy: Friended Mary on Facebook through the "people you may know and/or have screwed" function. Point: Economy, for embracing social networking. Final tally: Mary: 3 Economy: 3 To be continued...

Breaking the Silence...

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Y'all know this drill. 1. Gentrification. Slapping a huge indoor mall in the middle of a distressed area doesn’t make the distressed area any better. Now you just have to walk by the crazy people on your way to Best Buy and pray no one mugs you for your Target bag. 2. Rosary beads as bling. Are you a thug or a priest? I can’t tell if I should run away or confess my sins. 3. This economy. It’s not doing so great. Have you heard? We’ve got the whole country freaking out about it when I would wager that at least 50% of our good nation thinks Adam Smith is a contestant on Dancing with the Stars and Donald Trump wrote The Wealth of Nations . 4. This bailout. A bunch of people decided they should buy a house when they couldn’t *quite* afford it + A bunch of people decided to cash in and give them the money to do it anyway = Mary’s problem, and everyone else who pays taxes. Hmm. F*ck you. 5. This city. I think I’m the only person in DC that still cries out (as in, aloud) when I see someo...