When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmmm, boy.
In light of recent news that our super great Government is now looking to give the super great US auto-industry $25 billion of the $700 billion bailout (imagine: 700 billion frosties ), I can’t help but wonder: WTF (What the f*ck)? I thought the money (my money, your money) was meant to stabilize the US financial system, not our crappy auto industry. I dig that a lot of people are employed making (bad) US vehicles and they’d “lose their jobs” (become unemployed), but come on. This is a clear case of “been there, done that” (in Latin: shouldus knowest betterest by nowest ) which resulted in little to no innovation on the bailoutees ’ part (read: shitty cars or big cars or ugly cars or the movie Transformers, basically a really long, really bad GM commercial that even Optimus Prime couldn ’t save). I owned a GM vehicle in college, and frankly, I’m thinking Nancy Pelosi should be lobbying the Bush administration to give me $25 billion as pay-back for my car breaking down all the god...
Well I'm alive. But barely. Here's a run-down of my most recent week: 3 12-hour days "But Ms. Steinberg I can't think when my bladder is full!" winging the Neolithic Revolution, despite 3 12 hour days received 1 ad for hair braiding from one of my student's aunts, then told I would look good with dreds an apple and a handful of fritos = a lunch not much better than my students 900000000000 copies. And then some. student-created playlist for "Major Players in the Reformation" includes 50's "P.I.M.P" (aka my former ringtone) for Henry VIII, Eminem's "I'm not afraid" for Martin Luther and John Calvin (SOOO appropriate), Kanye's "Power" for Pope Leo X and Charles V, and "Break Your Heart" by Taio Cruz for Elizabeth ("because she never married"). How awesome is this??? and I still have not heard of the "Southern Ocean." Apparently elementary school teachers have invented a new oce...
Five things in my coat pocket 1. smart trip card (regular, not Obama face) 2. chapstick 3. cell phone 4. a lone glove (wha?) 5. Zone perfect bar (i.e., school night dinner) Four things I wish I had 1. Arms like Madonna mid 90s 2. A goddamned puppy 3. Clearly defined sense of purpose 4. Roll of McVitie’s chocolate digestives, plain (dark in American) Three things I am wondering 1. Will I be a good teacher? 2. Will I snap one day on the bus and punch someone in the face? 3. Will I get a piece of this $787 billion economic stimulus that my progeny will pay for? It could really help finance my one-eyed lasik. Two things I am seriously considering 1. Leaving my job to return to an old job 2. Getting lasik in one eye so if something goes wrong I’ll still have one good eye One thing I need 1. A reason for the season. Christmas is over, so Jesus is out.
Comments