Musings of a First Year Teacher

Now that I'm done with school (and there was much rejoicing) I get to spend all of my time worrying about a very different sort of school - high school. In an effort to stay sane and stay Mary, I am reworking this blog to be an outlet for me as I deal with the trials and tribulations of a first year teacher, who, by all accounts, looks about the same age as her students.

In one week, I have:
  • bounced between two schools and five classrooms
  • explained what bollocks means and why its a great phrase to 5 groups of scowling adolescents
  • learned close to 130 names, including that E___ likes to be called Zimbabwe (though he cannot point to Zimbabwe on the map), H___ responds to Juice, and B___ to Ochocinco.
  • walked across 4 classrooms on my knuckles like an ape to demonstrate the awesomeness of bipedalism in human evolution
  • already gotten sick
  • told one student that if he wrote a letter to the British government saying that is is "lame" that they don't allow you to touch the stones at Stonehenge, he'll get extra credit
  • told the kids that if they see Homo habilis in the hallway, they better make a run for it, as he is not really human and may try to hunt/eat them
  • compared Machiavelli to Martha Stewart
  • convinced two punks that cave art is NOT the result of aliens, and that using aliens is a cop-out excuse for people who don't like to think
Next week I will continue treading water. Stay tuned.

Comments

Jackie G. said…
you are still pretty much the most awesome person I know.

Two requests: first, can you now call me "huitneuf"... it's way cooler in French. Second, can you post video of the bipedalism-is-awesome demonstration? It can be a reenactment where Mags, Jim, and the empty wine glass are stand-ins for students. Yes?
Unknown said…
I strongly support the Stonehenge thing...you used to be able to walk up to the stones and touch them (I did it when I was little) but they stopped it ages ago. Highly lame.
Jenna said…
Mary, while everything in your post is awesome (per usual) and I can picture you saying/doing each item on the list, by far my favorite is comparing Machiavelli to Martha Stuart. Everyone fears MS, they dont really love her because she shows us all how domestically inadequate we are but damn it if we dont strive to be like her.

keep up the good work!!

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