What is causing Margaret Thatcher's anxiety issues?

Yesterday the vet diagnosed my sweet, slightly chubby cat with anxiety issues. This came as a shock since "Mags" very possibly leads the cushiest life of any animal in existence. Jim had trouble accepting this diagnosis, claiming that "Nothing is wrong with this cat. She's a moron." Whether anxiety or moronity are to blame, the cat is biting off chunks of fur on her back, wrecking in two weeks time my dreams of having her become a cat model. Damnit.

So here I sit, spending my summer vacation in a room with a $50 cat pheromone diffuser plugged in to the wall. This contraption is very akin to a Glade Plug-In, only it emits odorless cat hormones in to the air to calm the cat down. If it sounds ridiculous, all I can say is that it was made in Canada. In the meantime, the only thing to do is sit back, bask in the feline pheromones, and figure out what could possibly be stressing out this spoiled cat.

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