What goes unsaid
I want a dog. I do not want a child. Mostly I do not want a child because I'm not ready for my body to become host to another for 9 months and all the grossness that goes with it (yea, it's life, it's beautiful, it's not in my five year plan. Sorry Moms).*
Jim also wants a dog. He routinely points out, in my frequent moments of despair over dying dogless, that we WILL get one. We are buying a proper house with a yard; we are thisclose to fulfilling our goal. Except getting a dog is a BIG commitment. This is what everyone tells me when I say we want a dog. They inhale slowly, put on a grave face and say precisely that: "Having a dog is a BIG commitment."
And then they elaborate:
You have to feed it, walk it, groom it, train it, take it to the vet, and, get this, find someone to watch it while you are away. At this point another dog owner and/or stranger will invariably chime in with the requisite "It's nothing like having a cat" line.
For all of y'uns thinking you could get a dog and put it on your bookcase, you were sorely mistaken.
Change one little word is this phrase and the reaction is, interestingly, v. different: "We want a baby."
Chances are your listener will not tell you that you need to feed it and find someone to watch it while you are away. Nor will they mention 529 plans, day care costs, or the sheer enormity of being responsible for the proper upbringing of your v. own human being. What probably happens when anyone learns anyone wants to have a baby is some form of gushing and squealing and happy-for-you-ness. What goes unsaid is perhaps what should be said, or rather screamed, from the rooftops: Ladies and gentlemen, having a baby is the biggest f*cking commitment of them all.
To each his (or her) own.
These scenarios as I have described above have panned out without exception in the endlessly amusing unfolding story that is My Life. In a world run by Mary, we should all just speak our minds more and ask people who want to have babies, not dogs, if, in the immortal words of 2 Unlimited, [are] y'all ready for this??!?*
Is it so inconceivable to think that responsible adults, in deciding to care for a creature (albeit a canine creature) for the duration of its time on planet earth, would consider that there are walks to be taken, poop to be scooped, vet bills to be paid, etc.? Whether that creature is human or otherwise, it starts when you have your sh*t together. So, in closing, I'll say this. Jim and I have our sh*t together more than most. I think we could handle a dog. Whether Mags could is another story.
*also in this world, no one would judge a person based on their complete disinterest in World Cup Soccer.
Jim also wants a dog. He routinely points out, in my frequent moments of despair over dying dogless, that we WILL get one. We are buying a proper house with a yard; we are thisclose to fulfilling our goal. Except getting a dog is a BIG commitment. This is what everyone tells me when I say we want a dog. They inhale slowly, put on a grave face and say precisely that: "Having a dog is a BIG commitment."
And then they elaborate:
You have to feed it, walk it, groom it, train it, take it to the vet, and, get this, find someone to watch it while you are away. At this point another dog owner and/or stranger will invariably chime in with the requisite "It's nothing like having a cat" line.
For all of y'uns thinking you could get a dog and put it on your bookcase, you were sorely mistaken.
Change one little word is this phrase and the reaction is, interestingly, v. different: "We want a baby."
Chances are your listener will not tell you that you need to feed it and find someone to watch it while you are away. Nor will they mention 529 plans, day care costs, or the sheer enormity of being responsible for the proper upbringing of your v. own human being. What probably happens when anyone learns anyone wants to have a baby is some form of gushing and squealing and happy-for-you-ness. What goes unsaid is perhaps what should be said, or rather screamed, from the rooftops: Ladies and gentlemen, having a baby is the biggest f*cking commitment of them all.
To each his (or her) own.
These scenarios as I have described above have panned out without exception in the endlessly amusing unfolding story that is My Life. In a world run by Mary, we should all just speak our minds more and ask people who want to have babies, not dogs, if, in the immortal words of 2 Unlimited, [are] y'all ready for this??!?*
Is it so inconceivable to think that responsible adults, in deciding to care for a creature (albeit a canine creature) for the duration of its time on planet earth, would consider that there are walks to be taken, poop to be scooped, vet bills to be paid, etc.? Whether that creature is human or otherwise, it starts when you have your sh*t together. So, in closing, I'll say this. Jim and I have our sh*t together more than most. I think we could handle a dog. Whether Mags could is another story.
*also in this world, no one would judge a person based on their complete disinterest in World Cup Soccer.
Comments
We have a dog and while we "commit" to it, it's so rewarding and awesome. He's the sweetest and bestest. I'm thrilled for your new house and passion to get a dog. Or two. Or three. Whatevs!
I thought I was the only one who didn't give a damn about the World Cup or Women's World Cup or whatever just happened where we won or lost.
Great post.