Mondays with Mommy

The following is a near verbatim excerpt of a phone call that just took place:

Mom: I love the google. Guess what I did?

Mary: What?

Mom: I am trying to find a Christmas present for Jim and I googled "short men’s clothes."

Mary: Wait. What? Mom, Jim isn’t short.

Mom: Well, I wanted something that would fit him nice.

Mary: He’s not short.

Mom: Not that he doesn’t look nice in his clothes. He always looks nice.

Mary: Mom, Jim is thin, he’s not short.

Mom: Everything was really expensive!

Mary: You were probably looking at specially made clothes for hobbit-sized people.

(For the record, last Christmas my mom bought Jim a normal-man sweater)

Mom: Well, Mary, women’s clothes come in petite sizes.

Mary: Yes, Mom, but men’s clothing does not. It’s just one size for all men, unless you’re grossly huge and obese.

Mom: Well, I know when I buy clothes they’re too long on me and I don’t like it. I also googled the recipe for Devil Dogs.

Epilogue:

Though instructed not to share this conversation with Jim, Jim overheard the conversation and demanded clarification almost immediately after the call ended. Ever the high road taker, Jim is chalking this up to never having a sensible explanation when it comes to some of my mother’s antics/not being able to get inside my mother’s head.

Epilogue the second:

I have offered to go Christmas shopping with my mother and be her guide. I see this as extremely necessary.

In closing:

Jim is 5’9.

Comments

Jim said…
I like that your mom referred to Google as "the Google." I guess it's hard for people who grew up in the pre-digital age to think of software as a proper noun. Understandably so.

Also, I'm three foot eleven in my socks.
October 6, 2009 at 10:21 AM
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