Regrets, I've had a few.
I can’t say that I typically become reflective before a
birthday, but I am this year. Maybe it is because I’m entering a new age
demographic (the “you have no good eggs left” bracket). Maybe it’s because I
have the time to be reflective--I’ve also been thinking about my future, and I’ve
decided that when I’m 65 I will teach chair yoga to
other old people on the beach in Florida. Or maybe it’s just that Frank Sinatra
and I share a birthday, so I’m always humming Frank Sinatra at this time of
year.
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| You'd smile too if you shared a birthday with MBP. |
As any Frank fan will tell you, when you hum Frank, you hum “My
Way.” And if you’re reflective and Frank croons: “Regrets, I’ve had a few. But
then again, too few to mention,” you turn this into a mental exercise: what are
my regrets on the cusp of 35?
I thought of things that were kind-of regrets,
but then I dismissed them. Should I regret that I trashed my HS boyfriend’s
locker after he dumped me? No. It’s a funny story now and
the 1000+ students I shared it with over the years loved it (I only shared this story in teacher-mode *if* the context was there, which it usually was, because teenagers are hormonal and idiots and always needed life lessons. I explicitly told
the kids that boys/girls are the devil and they shouldn’t fret too much about their
high school relationships because they are young and dumb and it is all part of growing up and DON'T trash anyone's locker because that is mean and dumb). Did I regret changing my last name? Kind-of, but at least this
way I sound like a super WASP and can take full advantage of white privilege. Before people always thought I was Jewish (not that there is anything wrong with that). Do I regret getting side bangs? Absolutely,
but my hair grows so fast, it’s not worth adding it to the list.
See? This isn’t easy. I guess that is a Good Thing.
After careful reflection, here are my REAL Life Regrets on
the Cusp of 35, each with silver lining.
1)
I did not buy a ring made from Baltic amber in Cologne,
Germany, in the summer of 2013 (age: 30). It was my first time in Germany and
it looked so much like Epcot. I wandered into this adorable little shop along
the Rhine and perused all of their Baltic amber wares (I was lost). It was
charming. It was possibly where Caesar stopped to look for some amber prior to
crossing the Rhine (Maybe he was lost too!). I didn’t buy anything. I still
think about this sometimes when I look at my plain, amber-less finger and curse myself. What was I thinking? Of course I
could buy a ring of Baltic amber online at any time, but it’s just not the
same.
Silver Lining: This picture.
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| Lost in Cologne. |
2)
I did not do a foreign language exchange in high
school (age: 17/18). This one still kills me inside. I had the opportunity to
spend two weeks in Dijon as part of a French language exchange and I was like, "Nah. I'm too busy avenging my broken heart via locker trashing." I have no idea what the
hell I was thinking. My French teachers tried to convince me several times what
a great opportunity it would be and how I spoke French so well blah, blah, blah. I
can’t believe I didn’t do this, and I think it will bother me until my demise.
What an opportunity, what a chance to learn and live with a French family and
to see Burgundy and eat amazing cheese and I didn’t go.
Silver lining: This past April, I met a
group of teenagers from my old high school coming back from this VERY SAME trip
(age: 34). How did I meet them? Thanks to the ticketing genius of Lufthansa, I
was sitting amongst them on a 10 hour flight back to the States. I had just accompanied
twelve of my own students on a tour of London, Normandy, and Paris, and they were
doing God knows what rows ahead of me. So I was alone in an island of other
teenagers whilst coming down with the plague from exhaustion and stress (the best
place to be coming down with the plague is sitting in coach on a ten hour
flight). Anyway, I noticed one had a sweatshirt on that said “Hylton Volleyball”
and I was like, wait…."Are you all from Hylton High School in Virginia?"
They were.
And why were they on this ten hour flight from Munich or Frankfurt or wherever we were (NOT Cologne)?
They were coming back from Dijon.
Surely the Lord/Universe/Providence works in mysterious ways.
I smiled and said something to the tune of:
They were.
And why were they on this ten hour flight from Munich or Frankfurt or wherever we were (NOT Cologne)?
They were coming back from Dijon.
Surely the Lord/Universe/Providence works in mysterious ways.
I smiled and said something to the tune of:
“I just want you all to know that I had the
chance to go on this trip when I was your age and I didn’t, and I regret it to
this day. So I’m so happy that you went, and I hope you will go again and again
and any time you can. Especially when you’re young and your parents will pay
for it. YOLO.”
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| The best is yet to come, birthday buddy. But you should have bought the ring. |
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