Let’s play a game

Every time I sift through my blog, I’m struck by the (unintentional) reoccurring theme of how much The Express and most journalism sucks (I recognize there is a v. strong argument to be made that The Express is not really journalism so much as a free daily dose of bad writing and phlebotomy school ads). So I’ve compiled Onion headlines and "for real" headlines. But which is which?

  1. "Study Finds Paint Aisle At Lowe's Best Place To Have Complete Meltdown"
  2. "Balz on Bill Clinton "
  3. "Venus Day 2009: 10 Things You Can Do To Help Rid The Atmosphere Of Noxious, Flesh-Burning Sulfuric Acid"
  4. "Obama Earth Day Flight Burned More Than 9000 Gallons of Fuel"
  5. "Concerts Held To Wish World's Poor Good Luck"
  6. "Avoid Mexico"
  7. "Travel’s Gay Factor"
  8. "Treasury Department Issues Emergency Recall Of All US Dollars"

1. The Onion

2. The Washington Post. If you don't get it, you miss out on double entendres.

3. The Onion

4. CBS News. He should have rode Metro that day (it runs on clean natural gas, don't ya know), but then his hope prolly wouldn't be so audacious.

5. The Onion

6. NY Times. Like this is new news.

7. NY Times. I've been told the newsroom at The NY Times is 80% gay. That could explain this.

8. The Onion

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