Posts

Showing posts from July, 2013

Short lists: Third in a Series

Things that fluctuate daily 1-my weight 2-my feelings on artificial sweetener 3-my total number of friends on facebook

How I am celebrating Bastille Day

Image

Short Lists: Second in a Series

Things I don't do consistently, and when I do them, I don't do them well: 1. Shave legs 2. Weed flower bed 3. Weed-whack 4. Clean house

What is causing Margaret Thatcher's anxiety issues?

Image
Yesterday the vet diagnosed my sweet, slightly chubby cat with anxiety issues. This came as a shock since "Mags" very possibly leads the cushiest life of any animal in existence. Jim had trouble accepting this diagnosis, claiming that "Nothing is wrong with this cat. She's a moron." Whether anxiety or moronity are to blame, the cat is biting off chunks of fur on her back, wrecking in two weeks time my dreams of having her become a cat model. Damnit. So here I sit, spending my summer vacation in a room with a $50 cat pheromone diffuser plugged in to the wall. This contraption is very akin to a Glade Plug-In, only it emits odorless cat hormones in to the air to calm the cat down. If it sounds ridiculous, all I can say is that it was made in Canada. In the meantime, the only thing to do is sit back, bask in the feline pheromones, and figure out what could possibly be stressing out this spoiled cat.

Short Lists: First in a Series

Image
Why I don't have kids 1-I have never walked on a glacier 2-I enjoy taking long naps myself 3-I have never been to Barcelona 4-I have never been to Florence 5-I still don't technically know what a birth canal is. Is this just another term for something already there? #sexedfail #catholicupbringing 6-My cat has already been diagnosed with anxiety issues. I mean, just look at her. Clearly this cat leads a tough life. I shudder to think what she'd do if there was actually something stressful in the house. 7-I have never been to Hawaii. 8-20 minutes of "Call the Midwife" and I nearly retched. See #5. 9-I teach teenagers. I know what happens 15+ years later. It ain't pretty and it def. doesn't smell good. and 10-Because "everyone else is doing it"; "you're 30"; and "you're married" aren't good enough reasons for sh*t of this magnitude.

Things that make me feel better

Image