Load of Bollix

Today is my own personal new year. Last weekend, my sister-in-law asked me if I feel old. I honestly don’t.   Since the age of five I have been an angry old man, so if anything I am one step closer to becoming my Most Authentic Self. But since I do now have the sagacity of 36 years on this earth, and since I am on the blog-twice-a-year plan, I offer the following 36 pieces of “wisdom” (sic). Some are certainly things I’ve learned, some I’ve just observed, and some are just statements I can say because it’s my birthday and my blog, damnit. Cheers and thanks for reading. *** 1. Real butter is worth it. If you have been denying yourself real butter because it’s fatty, bad for you, not as cool as ghee, etc. pull your head out of your ass and start eating it. A little goes a long way and there is no substitute. 2. All things in moderation. Especially moderation. 3. Anyone that denies themselves entire food groups by choice is a lunatic. We have one life on

About once every three to four years, I like to do something that normal human beings do all the time, yet makes me feel like an alien observer that just landed on Earth. Today, that meant going to a salon to color my hair. This was Essential because I hate summer. I’ve always hated summer as an adult, even when I had the summers off. Because I hate summer, I start hating everything (I can hear your thoughts so let me qualify---I start hating everything more than I normally do), s o I decided I hate my hair and my glasses the most. Since I already own three pairs of glasses, I should therefore change my hair. I make an appointment at a salon and actually go (which is big for me). I arrive at the salon and am immediately uncomfortable. It’s summer, so I’m not wearing make-up. I’m wearing a dress I bought at Gap about 10 years ago, and I haven’t *technically* combed my hair, a fact all the more shocking since I drove to the salon with my windows down. This is both My Normal an