Why I write
I dedicate this post to my mother, a wonderful, insanely kind woman who does not have Facebook. If she did have Facebook, I'm confident she would not understand how to use it. Some people write because they have entire novels inside of them. Some people write as an act of courage. Some people write to bring change. Some people write because they are going batshit crazy and just need to get something off their chest. … Much like Tiny Fey did at the end of “Bossypants” (that is, the whiny, not-so-funny part), I have to get out my thoughts on procreation. Much like my students (that is, YOUR future, America), I will write with no regard for coherence, logic, or accuracy, and insodoing, will probably cause offence. I have a great lifestyle for a kid. This is a thinly disguised way of saying, “You don’t go out and you naturally wake up very, very early like some sort of freak.” I have a decent body for a kid. This means that my “pre-baby” body basically